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[30 Aug 2011|11:54pm] |
WARDED TO EMMELINE, GLYN, AND DEDALUS
It's my last night with Ed before he goes back to Fiona and I'm a sad dad. Hm, forget I ever said that. Anyway, now that I have been freed from parental responsibility on weeknights and every other weekend, let's all be friends again. You know, when zombies aren't invading and the Ministry isn't about to collapse or whatever is going on this week.
So. This means a pub night's in order for roughly never?
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[27 Aug 2011|04:23pm] |
WARDED TO GRETA CATCHLOVE
Hi. I forgot to thank you for babysitting the other week. I think Ed likes you.
It's about time they caught one. I'm going to hold off on celebrating until our little zombie problem gets solved. And until the DMLE catches the rest of them. I'm not going to be holding my breath.
So until then, I'm going to ponder the appropriateness level of a zombie film marathon. Complete with themed food and drink. Ed loves the undead, you know. I'm kidding. I would never expose a two-year-old to that kind of carnage.
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[10 Aug 2011|01:41pm] |
So I've got Ed for the whole of August and I'm only just realising that my flat isn't child-proof at all. Sharp edges all over the place. I clearly have learned nothing from my years in the medical profession. Which brings me to my next point -- when there aren't bizarre Wizard carnivals popping up at random, what the hell am I supposed to do to entertain a two-year-old? I thought about joining one of those Single Parents in the Park groups but then I remembered that I don't enjoy the company of roughly 95% of the human population.
Note that I said 95%, Emmeline. Which implies that you are included in the other 5%. Happy?
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[24 Jul 2011|04:33pm] |
WARDED TO ST MUNGO'S STAFF
Two things:
1. What the hell happened to the anti-slipping charms? I know I'm not that clumsy. The most healing I've done today has been on myself.
2. Please don't ever set me up on a blind date again. Any of you. Ever. I don't care how many offers of babysitting you give me. Just. Don't. Do. It.
I want a do-over of this weekend. Just take me back to Friday and let me do it all again.
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[11 Jul 2011|11:18pm] |
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Fuck if I'm not sick and tired of these Death Eaters and their shit. I don't even have the energy to say something witty about their non-stop murderous rampages. I'd almost agree with McKinnon about rounding up all the purists if I thought that would actually solve any of our problems.
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[28 Jun 2011|03:11pm] |
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I occasionally try to think about the Wizarding World from an outsider's perspective. You know, what would I do if I stumbled across Diagon Alley as a Muggle. (And yes, I know that you can't actually do that. Suspend disbelief for a second.) I guess I would think the whole thing was pretty cool up until purism and that's when I would insist on telling the man behind the curtain that the jig is up. And it's funny, because Muggles are all too good at trying to kill off things they don't like or understand. I'm pretty sure that some of the more evil Muggles out there would squeal with delight to see and hear some of the things that are going on today. Hello, pot! May I introduce you to the kettle? The two of you should become fast friends.
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[22 Jun 2011|08:13pm] |
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I, for one, am glad that carnival nonsense is over. Before you ask, no, I no longer know or care how much that item you're holding is, no matter what may have occurred to the contrary. Now we can move on to more important things, like this apparent Death Eater who has decided to tell all in Witch Weekly, of all things. If I were a Muggle-hating, mask-wearing, blood-thirsty terrorist, I would certainly choose to spill all of my organisation's secrets in the publication that brought us such hard-hitting and thought-provoking articles as "What Colour Nail Varnish Goes with This Dress?" or "Thirteen Non-Verbal Ways He Shows His True Love." Am I the only one who thinks this is a little bit suspicious? While we're all atwitter over this article, I am willing to bet that some other faction of these arseholes is out there silently murdering entire villages.
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[13 Jun 2011|06:46pm] |
WARDED TO ST. MUNGO'S STAFF
I don't usually put much stock in rumours but the other day I overheard someone talking about there being a few staff cuts based on belief system. Someone had better tell me this isn't true in the slightest, unless by "belief system" they mean "those who do not believe in the importance of breakfast," because in that case, sack away.
But in all seriousness. I would appreciate an advance warning if I or someone else that I sort of like sometimes are about to get sacked. I realise that some of us may have multiple skills but I highly doubt that I am qualified to do anything else.
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[08 Jun 2011|09:51pm] |
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Property values in Tinworth must be shit by now.
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[30 May 2011|05:14pm] |
The idea of attending a carnival makes me want to lock all of my doors, draw the blinds, and crawl inside of myself. I distinctly remember doing my best to avoid the carnival when I was in school. As much as I would love to continue to avoid this nonsense, I think it would be in the best interest of fatherhood to bring my own child and hope that he has a horrible time and never wants to go again.
I wonder if this is the appropriate forum to ask if there are any recent or soon-to-be Hogwarts graduates out there who would be willing to cart a two-year-old around a carnival. But then I think about the extensive background check that I would have to do and it isn't worth even a fraction of the trouble.
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[24 May 2011|10:39pm] |
It would be a shock to open up the Daily Prophet one day and read good news.
Though one wonders if there really is another vigilante group running around made up of anti-purists extremists or whatever the Prophet wants to call them today. It's beginning to seem like it's only a matter of time before we all end up dead.
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[18 May 2011|12:37pm] |
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The Death Eaters anonymously sends babies to St. Mungo's; the Order of the Phoenix anonymously sends t-shirts. In terms of "safety" and "not being a menace to the general public," the Order of the Phoenix probably takes the lead.
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